Whilst I was working on my ABC of Important Things a couple of weeks ago, Joss was figuring out his own version. He asked me to post it for you.
A is for Affection. I’m as loving as they come and I’m everybody’s friend.
B is for Bones. The absolute best thing to do with a bone is to rush off and bury it immediately. Second best is to chew it for hours on end. Both are pretty great.
C is for Chasing. Anything, really. Grouse, rabbits, cats, hens, even the occasional car. And, once or twice, sheep. Absolutely not supposed to, of course - but I am a sheepdog, after all.
D is for Dinner. Best when it’s the cat’s and I can gobble it down in the middle of the night while everyone’s asleep.
E is for Eyebrows. Two of my finest features. The reason Helen chose me over all my brothers when I was a tiny, tiny puppy.
F is for Fox. Roughly once a year, the temptation to roll where a fox has been is just too enticing. I reek appallingly for days afterwards. Don’t mind the smell myself but always evokes lots of nose-wrinkling and disgusted looks from humans. Strange.
G is for Grinning. Apparently very few dogs smile. I do it all the time. Grin from ear to ear I do. Humans find it endearing.
H is for Helen. My heart is hers. Happy so long as I can be with her.
I is for Intelligent. Yes, I am.
J is for Jealous. If there are cuddles going, I like to be at the front of the queue, thank you. And to remain there.
K is for Kisses. Like to dish these out freely. I specialise in lovely, wet, slobbery ones.
L is for Licking. Closely allied to the aforementioned kisses….but also the means of washing anything that needs cleaning. Including me.
M is for the Moors. Yes, I’m a dog-o-the-moors. My stamping ground. (Though I’m also very partial to a walk in the woods.)
N is for Nettie the cat. I’m a tad scared of him. But he’s family and I’m also kind of fond of him. Moreover, I’ll fly to his rescue if ever another creature threatens him.
O is for Obedience. I (almost always) do as I’m told.
P is for Plastic Bottles. Super good at clearing the moors of these. They make great toys.
Q is for Quick. Don’t be fooled by my size. I can move like lightning when I want to.
R is for Rolling. Nothing like a daily wriggle on my back.
S is for Snow. Love the stuff. Especially eating it.
T is for Treats. My favourite word. Particularly when it refers to roasted chicken strips. Or scrambled eggs.
U is for Underfoot. My special talent. Wherever you want to walk or stand, I’ll be there, lying in the way.
V is for Vets’. The place where I’m made a fuss of and given free biscuits.
W is for Wagging my tail. Even when I’m too sleepy to move a muscle, my tail will swish madly at your approach.
X is for X marks the spot. I always remember where I’ve buried a bone or left a ball. (Actually, I always remember everything.)
Y is for Yanking the stuffing out of soft toys. That’s what they’re for. Right?
Z is for Zen Dog. One of my nicknames. I’m an innate peacemaker. I want the whole world to be happy.