Happier Gift Giving

If dear old St. Nick, who loved to chuck gifts through people's windows in the night, had known where his merry present flinging would lead, he might have thought twice about it.  Stress, obligation, worry, debt.  Where's the joy or Christmas spirit in that?

If you love to battle your way through the seething crowds in search of the perfect present, go for it.  If not, read on.  There's a ton of ideas here on how to do things differently.

Shop Online

Second nature to most of us now.  Pour a glass of your favourite tipple, blast out the Christmas music and lose yourself on Etsy or Amazon for an evening.  Job done.

Make A Day Of It

If you prefer to shop in person, why not head for a Christmas market with a gang of friends and make an occasion of the present buying?

Charity Gifts

You know the ones - the goats and bicycles and cows that will be donated on your behalf to folk who really need them.  When I lived in the States and most of my friends and family were back in Britain, exorbitant shipping costs across the Atlantic made charity gifts the way to go.

Charity Receiving

This one's like running a sponsored marathon without ever getting out of bed!  You nominate a favourite cause or charity and friends and family chip in.  There's something enormously satisfying about watching the money stack up and knowing your Christmas is serving others.

Adopt An Animal 

One of my favourite presents ever was the reindeer my husband adopted for me one Christmas. It lived in the wilds of Scotland and I was invited to go and visit it.  Unfortunately, the said reindeer died before I ever made the trip - but that hasn’t put me off the idea!  Various animal charities run similar schemes.  Google them.

Secret Santa

You may already do this in the workplace so why not at home?  Draw lots with the rest of the family and give to only one other person.  This either cuts down drastically on the seasonal expense or allows each person to receive one really big present instead of lots of small ones.

Hand-Made Gifts

It always staggers me when I read articles that suggest knitting jumpers for everyone I know will simplify gift giving.  Excuse me?!!!  Clearly the people who write such rubbish have never knit jumpers (or have only two friends in the world....and even then!).  But there are ways to make this one work.  One is to combine it with the Secret Santa principle above - I know one family who do this to great effect with even the smallest tot spending weeks making one special present (with a little help!).  The other way to swing this is to batch make.  Home made food comes into its own here (biscuits, chutney, chocolates, flavoured oils etc.).  Or try batches of soap and other scented goodies.  One day’s work can yield dozens of presents.

Perishable Gifts

I once read about a man who was so troubled by all the surplus stuff in the world that he insisted on only giving - and receiving - perishable goods.  Things that would quickly be used up and not hang about gathering dust for years to come.  We’re talking food, flowers, candles.  I've always leaned to this idea.

Give Time

This one has so much going for it.  It's personal, costs nothing, puts no extra stuff into the world, totally cuts out the last minute flap of looking for presents, and frequently means you get to spend more time with the person to whom you're giving. Not bad for one small gift, huh?  Put simply, you donate time. It might mean offering to act as chauffeur for someone without a car….or babysitting several times.  You get the idea.

Give Your Skill

Same as the last one but share your special talents.  Promise your computer skills, design talent, musical ability, cooking expertise.  Perform, build, service, teach, create.  The possibilities of this are endless.

A Day Out Together

One of the best Christmas presents that came my way last year was a friend’s offering to ‘take me out for the day’.  We didn’t actually get round to the expedition until October.  When we did, we had the loveliest drive through pretty countryside, winding up at a fabulous craft gallery and café.  Definitely worth the wait.

The Grown-up Wish List

This tends to be perceived as grabbing and materialistic but let's be logical here.  We encourage children to write letters to Santa; and wedding present lists are widespread practice. Why not Christmas lists?   So much money is wasted each year on unwanted gifts and this totally avoids that.  Simply make a wish list that family and friends can peruse – either hand-written or online (use Luvocracy or Pinterest).  You still get surprised by which wishes actually materialise and the givers have the satisfaction of knowing they're giving you something you truly love or need.  If this feels too easy - as if there's not enough thought and effort involved - then get imaginative.  If someone has listed a favourite brand of coffee, arrange to have a packet shipped to them every month.  If someone else wants a particular book, take them to a great bookshop so you can spend time together and make an occasion of buying the treat.

The One Big Thing

In similar vein to the last but the recipient nominates one big thing they really want and givers chip in money towards it.  When I was saving to buy my harp, I was really grateful for occasional contributions towards it.

The Same Thing

Buy everyone the same or similar.  My brother-in-law goes to an off-licence and buys everyone on his list a bottle of their favourite drink.  Maybe you‘ve read a great book this year you want to share with everyone you know.  One stop, one shop.  Everything covered.  It's not cheating if it takes the stress out of the celebration.

The Whole Family Gift

If the number of people you buy for is getting out of hand, consider giving one joint gift to each family on your list, rather than dreaming up individual presents for everyone.  Food hampers, games, cinema vouchers etc. all make great family gifts.

The Price Cap

Everyone in the family or your circle of friends agrees they will spend no more than x amount on anyone else.  Takes the financial lunacy out of gift giving.

The No Money Option

This one takes some ingenuity so is best for those with lots of time.  You amass your stash of gifts to give by making, finding, swapping and trading - but at no point do you spend any cash.

Alter The Time Scale

If everything you have to do in the run-up to Christmas freaks you out, take present giving out of the Christmas equation.  Send everyone an Advent gift at the end of November instead to help them cope with their own Christmas frenzy - an Advent calendar (my mum still sends me one every year even though I'm…er, old!); a book of Advent readings; a de-stress kit of essential oil and soothing music.  You get the idea.  Alternatively, simply pop a note in a card or stocking promising a gift on a specified date.  Sort of fun to spend the next six months in anticipation of June 1st!

Sharing Treasures

There's no law that says presents have to come from a shop and be all shiny and new.  Consider passing on treasures you already own.  If a friend has always admired a particular bowl, give it to her.  Pass on a piece of jewellery that was handed down to you.  This is meaningful, heart-filled giving.  Not to mention responsible recycling.  And cheap.

Pass It On

Finally, if you do wind up with a couple of unwanted gifts, remember one man's junk is another man's treasure.  Don't let things moulder neglected.  If the gifts can't be returned to the store they came from, take them to a charity shop or sell them on eBay.  Or get together with a gang of friends in January and have a present swap party (just be discreet about who gave what in the first place! ).