My Best Tip For A Calmer Christmas

One month from today is December 25th.  Eeek!  For those of us who celebrate Christmas, the countdown frenzy is already underway.  But panic not.  This week, I want to share with you a few posts designed to help you navigate the season in a more manageable way. 

First, a little background.  I’ve always adored Christmas.  For all kinds of reasons - not least of which being that it’s the perfect excuse for a crafty girl to go into overdrive.

For too many years I did just that.  I made hand-made cards (anything up to 200 of them), hand-made presents (at one point my present list stretched to more than 120 people), wrapped everything with elaborate hand-crafted trimmings, produced sleigh-loads of hand-made chocolates (plus all the other festive food, naturally) and enough hand-made decorations to festoon the entire house (and then some).  Of course, I also wanted to attend every carol service, concert, party, pantomime and family gathering possible.  I was squeezing every last drop of juice from the Christmas clementine.  I wanted the whole seasonal shebang.

You can guess what happened.  All my jolly and determined celebrating burned me out.  Every time.  Odds on I’d be in bed with exhaustion and/or flu by Boxing Day at the very latest.  And I know you understand this because most of us have been there to some degree.

I eventually wised up to the fact that for my own sanity and health - not to mention the peace and goodwill of those around me - this couldn’t go on.  It took a few more years to figure out an alternative way of celebrating the season but I finally did it.  With one very simple strategy.  Today, I’m sharing with you my best tip for a calmer Christmas.  And this is it:

IDENTIFY WHAT MATTERS TO YOU MOST ABOUT THE SEASON AND FORGET THE REST

I know.  It sounds ridiculously simple.  But it works, believe me.  Each year now I make a short list of the elements that really encapsulate Christmas for me - the things/food/people or events I really don’t want to do without.  THEN FORGET THE REST.  How you celebrate the season is, after all, up to you.  You don’t HAVE to go to every event to which you’re invited.  The people who love you will NOT be offended if you skip sending cards this year.  Christmas will NOT vanish never to return because you choose not to decorate the house for once.  And just because you have kids does NOT mean you have to get caught up in ALL the hoopla. Let the children choose with you the things that matter most then model some restraint and incorporate some quiet time - you’ll all be happier for it.  No, it’s not easy to jump off the Christmas hamster wheel but IT IS POSSIBLE.  And it gets easier each year you make that conscious choice.

For me, the beautiful consequence of this approach is that not only has Christmas become simpler to negotiate, but it now feels far more intentional.  What I do with these few weeks carries greater meaning and allows time for reflection.  It’s actually way more enjoyable than when I was frantically chasing the Christmas dream.

To show you what I‘m on about, here’s my list for this year.  Your list will likely be totally different and that’s perfect.  Make the season your own.  Don’t jump on anyone else’s bandwagon.

Christmas Scents - I love the house to smell Christmassy.  A few drops of essential oil in a burner do the trick.  Or just throwing my orange peel on top of the stove.  Takes seconds.  Wraps me in a fug of seasonal delight.

Christmas Tree - For various reasons, it‘s six years since I had a tree in the house.  This year I want one!

Music - I like to listen to The Messiah from start to finish once each Christmas - either in concert or on CD.  I love Christmas music on the radio.  And I’ll be making time to play carols on the piano.

Christmas Reading – Over the years I’ve amassed a collection of books filled with Christmas poems and stories.  I’ll stick them in a basket and, at some point, find a few minutes to dip into them.

Films - Have to watch one or two Christmas favourites.

Chocolates - I love making chocolates.  There’ll be no other hand-made presents from me this year, but there will be chocolates.

Time to Reflect - Just a minute or two each day.  What’s the point of it all otherwise?

Time with Family and Friends - I want to gather with the people who mean most to me. 

This list is not exclusive.  It doesn’t mean I won’t do or enjoy anything else that’s Christmassy.  But OTHER STUFF WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED A LOOK-IN IF THERE’S TIME AND IT DOESN’T ADD EXTRA STRESS TO THE PROCEEDINGS.

If my choices still sound too many to you, look at it the opposite way round.  If I don’t send or receive a single card, don’t attend a single party, don’t eat a single mince pie, I won’t mind in the least.  I’ll still feel like I’ve enjoyed and celebrated the season in the ways that matter most to me.  Feel free to make an even shorter list if it suits you.

Grab a pen and paper and start now.  Jot down the things that matter most to you - be they foods you want to eat, people you want to see or the one tradition you can’t live without.  Then focus on those things.  Bravely say NO to the rest.  You don’t have to go the whole hog to experience the Christmas spirit.  It’s far more important to stay sane.  Because, truly, that will spread far more peace and goodwill in the long run.

Check in again on Tuesday when I’ll be sharing the definitive guide to happier gift giving.

Comments

[Kristin Noelle]

Oh, this is wonderful, Helen! Thank you for bringing me here!

[Life Images by Jill]

love it! I feel calmer already! thank you! so.... I don't need to decorate the tree my husband has dragged inside this evening?